so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
