you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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