Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
