i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
