And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
