i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
