Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
