What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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