wake up i wanna do it froggy style
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
