im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
