tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
