I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
