I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
