why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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