we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
