She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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