Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize