i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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