Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
