How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
