After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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