OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
