I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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