You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize