I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
