and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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