They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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