soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
false alarm, still single
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
