I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
