I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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