Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
