I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
