Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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