her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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