Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
