it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
