so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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