Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
