the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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