NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
