grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
