You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
