I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
