One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize