The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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