I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
