Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
