careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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