No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
