I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
