So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize