you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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