the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
