Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
