Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
