I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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