everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
