Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
smell my finger.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
