Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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