i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I need moral support for this bender
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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