We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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