Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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