I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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