and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I am naked and annoyed.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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