This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
