I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
