my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
where does the pee come out of this thing
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
