your room smells of hookers.
And success
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
