I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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