Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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