the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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