I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
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Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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