So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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